For Your Own Good
by SixSeasons
Summary: The truth about Zelgadis' cure lies in his hometown.


**Authors Note**

Forgive the Amelia bashing. This was written way back in the day when it was still fashionable. XD

* * *

Zelgadis tossed in his sleep, fragments of a memory slipping into his subconscious.

_He was training, training so hard. His sword skills would make up for his lack of magic, if only he was just a little better. He had to be a little better. Always could be a little better. Rezo said that he would make him better. He would be better. He would be strong. He'd never be scared again. He accepted. He wanted to be better! _

_He regained consciousness and felt detached. Felt so far away. This body wasn't his. It was wrong. All wrong. Desperately wrong. So cold, so lifeless, he wasn't alive. He was blue. He was blue and he wanted to cry. But then he wouldn't be better, he couldn't cry. Mustn't. No, no, no tears! _

_He wanted to go home. He wanted his mother. His mother would protect him; then he wouldn't want to cry anymore. It wasn't fair. Rezo said he couldn't go home. It wasn't right! He wanted to go home! Would they be afraid of him like Rezo said? He wouldn't go home. He didn't want his mother being afraid. No, no. Mustn't go home. It would be better this way. Rezo nodded. Agreement... _

_"It's for your own good, Zelgadis." _

_He never went home. Why, oh why?_

Zel's eyes snapped open. Biting back tears, he decided he needed to talk to someone. But he couldn't go home. Why couldn't he go home? Gasping as a sudden thought hit him, he grabbed his shirt and ran to Lina's door.

* * *

"Lina, can I come in?"

Lina cracked open a tired eye and squinted blearily at the door. "What is it, Zelgadis? It's the middle of the night."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Lina sat up and threw the covers off. "Geez, well I'm up now. Come on in." Lina watched with mild annoyance as Zelgadis turned the doorknob and came in. "Sit, get comfy. What do you want?"

Zelgadis shook his head. "It's just... never mind. I guess it wasn't important."

Lina tossed her pillow at him. "Yes, it was. You wouldn't wake me up for nothing. The others would, but not you. What is it? I'm not mad."

Half-expecting to be fire-balled, Zelgadis sat down beside her on the bed. "It's just... well. I've been thinking. When you create a chimera, you don't need the original body once you've taken the mind out of it. That means unless Rezo destroyed my old body, it's still out there."

"Zel! That's great! Where do you think your body would be?"

"That's if it's out there, Lina. I'm not sure."

Lina whacked him with the pillow again. "Zel! Stop with the negativity!"

"Fine. But if it _is_ anywhere, it would probably be in Deirdra."

Lina blinked, not knowing the town. "Why there?"

"It's where I grew up. I was there when Rezo changed me. It probably would have been most convenient to just dump the body there. It would also explain why Rezo didn't want me to go back there. He said I would scare my family and that they would all think I was a monster, and I believed him. But know... doesn't it make sense?"

Lina grinned and had to stop herself from hugging Zelgadis. "That's great! I'm really happy for you! We'll set off with you first thing in the morning to go and get it!"

"You don't have to come!"

"Pshaw. 'Course we do. Now, I'm going to sleep, and then... we're off! ...After we eat breakfast of, course.

Zelgadis sighed and stood. "Of course."

* * *

Amelia giggled as she gazelle leaped down the path. "We're going to meet Zel's mommy and daddy and siblings... and do you have siblings, Mr. Zelgadis? I'm so happy you wanted me to meet them! You're going to announce to them that you love me, aren't you? That's why you're taking me to meet them. I'm so happy."

"You didn't have to come, Lina."

"Sorry. I forget if I came, she would too."

"Forgiven."

Zelgadis walked slower, even as the urgency to get to his cure pushed him on. He hadn't been home since the incident. That was seven years ago. Would they still love him? Would his mother ever forgive him? Did they think he was dead? He had been too afraid to go home. Damn Rezo, saying it was for his own good that he didn't return back to town!

"Zel? Are we almost at your home yet?"

Zelgadis smiled at Lina. It felt good to be home. "Yeah. Actually, it's just through these bushes..."

Lina stared at Zelgadis, wondering why he had stopped as soon as he had pushed the bushes back. "What is it Zel?"

Zelgadis turned back to her, visibly shaking. He voice was barely above a whisper. "Lina... that man there... is me!" Zelgadis sank to his knees in shock, turning the situation over and over in his head. If that man was indeed him, and itdefinitely was, then Rezo couldn't have used his body to make the chimera. He must have used a substitute instead. He must have created… Zelgadis' stomach churned as the realization hit him. He didn't even bother to hide the tears. "Then… Rezo didn't want me to come home because I'd find out that I... I... am nothing more... then a _copy_ he created! I'm a copy! I have no cure! I'm not even real!" Zelgadis fell into Lina's open arms, crying into her hair. "I have no soul... I'm not a person... just a pathetic... copy... A hideously ugly _copy_!"

Lina ran her fingers across his back, trying to think of a way to calm him, trying to overcome her _own_ shock. Poor Zelgadis. It wasn't fair. "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be. I'm just a copy." Zelgadis tried to wipe away the tears, but more just came. "Rezo was right, though. It was for my own good."

* * *

Lina watched Zelgadis intently. After realizing he was a copy, Zelgadis had just wanted to leave. He didn't want to disrupt his parents' lives by telling them about himself. He thought it was better that way. That left Lina and the others to take care of him. Gourry was an idiot, so he was no help. Xelloss had teased Zelgadis so badly that he had cried again, and Lina told him that if she ever saw his smiling face again she would Giga Slave him. Xelloss had taken the threat seriously she guessed, because he hadn't shown up since. Amelia was a bit of help though. Her unchanging affection even after she found out the truth had kept Zelgadis from tears a couple of times. But she didn't really understand why Zelgadis was so upset about being a copy. So only Lina was really left to make sure he was okay. He hadn't cried in about six months though, so she assumed he was getting better.

The only thing that worried her was that Zelgadis insisted on being called Kopii Zelgadis. She had refused and decided she would call him Grey instead. Amelia couldn't understand why he wouldn't let her use his real name at first. 'I'm not Zelgadis, Amelia. I have no right to call myself that.' Lina sighed. That was when she had begun to realize that Zelgadis no longer thought of himself as a person at all.

'Hey! Come on, Grey! Treasuring hunting! Maybe we'll find a cure amongst the ruins!' Zelgadis had looked at her, confused.

'What cure? I don't have a cure, Lina. I'm just a copy. I don't deserve to be human. I never was.'

Lina bit back tears. Zelgadis had changed a lot. It was, in a way, what she had always wanted for him. She had wanted to him to be able to get over his body. Oh, but at what a price. Before it was only his body he couldn't think of without disgust, now it was the fact that he even existed.

If only they hadn't gone. If only Zelgadis had believed Rezo about it being for his own good.


End file.
